Thoughts From Mt. Crumpit

One day I awoke feeling as though I was high atop Mount Crumpit. I stared down from my cave with a sour, Grinchy frown. My shoes tightened around my toes as I stood in the snow hating what I saw below; my daughters are growing up too fast Megan and Emily haven’t quite reached ten, yet they’re turning into young ladies before my eyes. The very thought of this made me turn green. My eyes started to yellow, my pupils turned red. I growled, my new grinch fingers nervously drumming, “I must stop this whole thing! I must stop them from growing, but how?” Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny have all been exposed. After only a few …

Under Construction

If I could address a room full of recent high school or college graduates, I would decorate the stage like a construction site. It would be lined with orange cones and those big barrels with blinking lights on top. Behind me there would be a huge yellow sign that reads “UNDER CONSTRUCTION.” Wearing a hard hat and one of those fluorescent green road crew vests, I would approach the podium and tell kids what no one ever told me: that it’s okay that you’re not sure what your story is going to look like. It’s not written yet. You are under construction. We’re all drawing our lives with a pencil without the benefit of an eraser. The results aren’t always …