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When I Was a Kid

Grandpa parked his white Taystee Bread truck in front of our house, opened the back door, and told every kid lucky enough to be outside at the time to jump in and grab a Mickey Banana Flip or Devil’s Food Cake. We played kickball in the street and yelled CAR! before scattering to the curb like bugs. Mom vacuumed at night after she put my brother, sister and me to bed. Somehow, I felt loved watching the vacuum’s front headlight under my bedroom door. When I was kid My dog was so big, I rode him like a horse. My friend John and I sneaked out of the house at 4am and rode our bikes all over town, dumpster diving …

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What You Are Is What You Is

Every one of us will die, few will truly live. When my friend Susan died unexpectedly, I of course went to her funeral. Check that, it wasn’t a funeral; it was an ice cream social. She made it clear that when she passed away, she wanted to be celebrated not mourned. I walked into an unfamiliar place filled with unfamiliar faces, but in front me, like a sweet oasis, was a long table, smartly decorated with six different flavors and every topping you can imagine. I dug in…for her (hehehehe). Susan’s daughter, Zoie stood in front of everyone, choked back tears, and refused to speak of her mother in the past tense. Instead, she talked about what her mother is. …

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The White Man in the Mirror

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. Don’t kill me. Please, sir. Please. I can’t breathe. Mama! Mama! ~ George Floyd Watching the video was horrifying. I watched knowing these were George’s final words — his final fears. I watched as he called out for his mother. She died two years ago. Read that again. He called out for his mother. Today, I’m taking a long look in the mirror because I didn’t want to believe that a cop would do that. I didn’t want to believe ANYONE would do that. There must be something more here; something else. There must be. There’s not. TRUTH: I Know Next to Nothing About the Black Experience. I was born in Saginaw, Michigan in …

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My Flu

A tree doesn’t grab hold of every kind of weather or it would be pulled down and destroyed. Likewise, our job is to notice storms, not hang on to them and let them uproot us. ~ Jewel I have battled anxiety and depression most of my life. I call it my flu because it doesn’t stay, but like any virus it has power. I respect it, and I realize that when it comes it wants to destroy me. Today, at fifty-three-years-old, I’ve never been more comfortable with my flu and it’s never been buried so deep. I haven’t been this healthy or happy since I was a child. Writing down the reasons for this helped me realize how intentional I …

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I’m So Tired

I guess I just feel like Nobody’s honest Nobody’s true Everyone’s lying To make it on through I guess I just feel like I’m the same way, too ~ John Mayer When I was a teenager, I met a strange little man at church. “Richard” was a quiet, mysterious, Bible-carrying believer. He probably wasn’t old, but in 1982 everyone was old to me. He had a peace about him. He spoke softly through his smile. One day, after a Wednesday night service, I sat down with him and questioned him about his faith. He told me to get close to the Lord because one day, it will be the only truth there is. He closed his eyes as if he …