Imagine slipping on a special pair of glasses—ones that let you see people more honestly. Each time you wear them, words appear in your view, revealing something hidden.
You glance over at the man in Starbucks: “Struggles with addiction.”
You notice an elderly woman sitting alone in the park: “Nobody calls anymore.”
A pretty young girl walks by, and you’re stunned to read: “Thinks she’s ugly and sometimes wonders if everyone would be better off without her.”
The truth is, none of us really knows what others are carrying. No one sees the whole story.
For more than 20 years, if someone had those special glasses and looked at my wife, they would have seen the words, “Wants desperately to meet her son.”
In 1990, I met a beautiful young woman named Polly. She was full of life, with an incredible smile. Although we were just friends, I couldn’t wait to see her every day.
What I didn’t know—and neither did she at first—was that she was pregnant. When she found out, her boyfriend rejected her. He wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. Suddenly, Polly was lost and alone.
Eventually, she made the heartbreaking decision to place the baby for adoption.
“I got to hold him for a few minutes before he was taken from me,” she told me. “I talked to him and kissed his forehead about a million times. When the nurse came to take him, she took a part of me with her. I literally couldn’t breathe. I can still feel it today. I remember running to the corner of the hospital near the elevators. I sank to the floor and just cried. It was the worst day of my life.”
Every year on December 10th—Adam’s birthday—Polly would take out the handful of baby pictures the adoptive parents had sent her. She’d stare at them, marveling at how his eyes crinkled when he smiled, just like hers.
She wondered if he was okay. She wondered if she’d done the right thing.
I never knew exactly what to say. So I just hugged her.
One day, Polly searched online for adoption-finder websites. She picked one at random—amazingly, it was the same site where, by then, twenty-year-old Adam had posted his information.
With just his birth date and the city where he was born, she was able to get his full name. Then she looked him up on Facebook—and there he was.
In a matter of days, Polly found herself in the car driving from Nashville to Saginaw, Michigan to meet her son…again.
.
When they finally saw each other, Adam broke through the awkwardness and asked, “Can I give you a hug?” Then he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground.
I know I’ve never seen my wife more at peace. I know God brought Adam into this world for a reason. And I know my family just got bigger.
There’s no such thing as those special glasses—but I like to imagine they’re real. In my mind, I put them on every day and look around. And when I do, I see that everyone is carrying something.
And so, I dig a little deeper to find compassion.
I look more closely and get a different view.
