God’s Not A Meanie


On January 1, 2012, two year old Phoebe Fair was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive brain tumor. Saturday, October 5, her battle ended. Her story touched the lives of hundreds, even thousands who either had the pleasure of experiencing her heart, or by following her story through her mom’s Facebook page and blog.  Amey Fair is a remarkably strong woman. She and her husband Nathan have three other children – all under ten. Through it all, they have shown the world unshakable faith and incredible courage.

One night,  while Amey was sleeping in the chair next to Phoebe’s hospital bed, a little voice woke her. It was 3am so it took a minute for Amey to focus on what her daughter was saying. “Mommy I’m a mean girl,” she thought she heard her daughter whisper. “No Phoebe, you’re a nice girl!” she replied. “No Mommy, I’m a miracle,” Phoebe said. “I’m a MIRACLE.”

It is hard in everyday life to keep perspective. I think most of us try, but we get caught up in the stuff, some of it important, some of it not so much.  I need to try harder. I think about how this little girl faced more adversity in less that 2,000 days on this earth than I have in 47 years. I must – we must – never let life’s pain cloud the beauty of the goodness of God.

I thank this family for the reminder. I thank Phoebe. She’s gone now, but I have little doubt where she is – who she’s with. She no longer knows tears, no longer knows the pain of needles, the sickness of drugs, or the agony of surgery.  Now she knows that the love her family showed her was a fraction of what she has now.

Not long ago, Phoebe told her mom, “God is not a meanie, and I am not afraid.” She made her mom repeat it. “I am not afraid. I am not afraid,” Through tears, Amey repeated it over and over again.

A brief life – a timeless truth.