There are two things in my life that bring me profound sadness—two things that rip my heart open. This may come as a surprise in this era of social media and over sharing, but I won’t disclose either of them here.
It’s between me and God.
I’m sure you’ve heard that life is not all sunshine and rainbows. As Rocky Balboa would say, “It’s a mean and nasty place that will beat you to your knees and keep you there.” Most people find a way to get up off the canvas and keep fighting. Some stay down. I usually fall into the first camp, but not every day.
The problem is that the things that hurt us over and over again, overshadow what’s good. It makes sense. If one of your fingers is throbbing in pain after being hit with a hammer, you’re not thinking about how great your other nine fingers feel.
I’ve only recently been introduced to the fact that you must grieve what is broken in your life. Anyone who has grieved a person will tell you that it comes with sorrow, numbness, even guilt and anger. Grief manifests in many ways.
The same can be said for grieving the things that hurt you and the people who hurt you. Not everything is fixable. Some relationships are irrevocably damaged, the picture you had of your life doesn’t resemble the one you’re living, some dreams are just that—dreams.
After losing her husband to brain cancer, Nora McInerny gave a TED talk where said something I’ll never forget. “You don’t move on from grief,” she said. “You move forward with it.” The same is true with grieving the things in your life that bring you sadness. Take all the time you need.
Get off the canvas.
Grieve.
Move forward.
And never forget the other nine fingers.
