Here Comes The Sun

I had the unfortunate opportunity of leaving for work before dawn one day this week. Actually, I felt extremely fortunate, I just don’t enjoy getting up while it’s still dark. So, there I was driving down the interstate with a bunch of other people probably not overjoyed about their early start either.

I took a sip of my iced tea (I don’t do coffee), and I glanced out at the hills of Tennessee as the sun rose above the thin layer of fog fighting to stay visible. I had a million work things to think about on this particular day, but I set all of that aside to think about who I am today.

I suppose with any long life, you get to be several versions of yourself. I’ve been a scrawny unathletic kid, an awkward high school boy, a sneaky good basketball player, a young husband and a new dad. I’ve had long, stringy hair, a short spiky cut, and no hair at all. I’ve been short, tall, skinny and well, not. I’ve had low self-esteem and I’ve let my ego thrive unchecked.

Here’s what no one ever tells young people: You change so much in this life that it’s hard to remember who you were. We are altered by time and experiences like water alters the earth. So, who am I today? I took another sip of tea, managed a slight smile, and thought, “Not the version I want to be.”

I had open heart surgery a year ago. It changed me. It’s hard to explain, but I don’t drive by cows and “moo” anymore. Sometimes my smile is forced. I’m grateful to be alive, but most days I feel like something was taken from me. My doctor says these feelings are totally normal. In fact, some cultures believe that when the breastbone is broken, the human soul escapes. The belief is so strong, many choose to die rather than have surgery.

I turned the corner on my morning commute to the prettiest area of Franklin, Tennessee. The sun was now fully visible, and streaks of pink, purple and orange filled the sky. I took another sip. I whizzed past a few cows enjoying their breakfast, and I forced a “moo.” No, I’m not who I was, and this version of me is not the version I want, but that will change…again. In the meantime, keep breathing. Keep being. Keep moving. Keep mooing.

Here comes the sun.

Curt Harding

After more than fifteen years as an award-winning reporter, anchor and producer in radio and television news, Curt Harding is a professional writer, speaker and entertainment publicist in Nashville, Tennessee. He is the host of The Short Pause podcast, author of the children’s book, A Tail of Two Kitties, and co-author of a book chronicling the lives of military veterans. His strong industry experience has allowed him to work alongside renowned thought leaders including Dave Ramsey, Max Lucado, Judge Andrew P. Napolitano, William J. Bennett, John Maxwell, Donald Miller and more.