“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.”
~Mr. Rogers
Kira Higgins is a third-grade teacher in Tennessee. She’s also a foster mom with a heart for pregnant teenage girls. This summer, Kira adopted a three-year-old boy whose mother was once in her care.
I was in the courtroom with Kira’s family, watching this extraordinary act of love and sacrifice. I asked if I could tell her story. She said yes.
We talked on the phone just a few hours after the adoption. I was sitting in my car in a Hardee’s parking lot, trying to take notes with a pen that was running out of ink. As she spoke, I kept shaking it and, yes, licking the tip (please tell me I’m not the only one who does that).
I almost asked if I could call her back another time—when I could record the conversation or at least have a pen that actually worked—but I was so captivated by her story that I pushed through…
Kira is an open book. I liked her immediately. Her voice is calm but confident, and her faith is unmistakable. It guides everything she does.
When I worked as a journalist, I tried hard not to let my personal biases find their way into my stories. It’s harder than people think. We’re all human, and we all carry beliefs and assumptions that shape the way we see the world.
As Kira talked about the teenage mother of her newly adopted son, I caught myself judging her. In my mind, I wanted her to step up and do better.
A teenager.
Kira gently set me straight.
“Her story is her story to tell,” she said. “But I will say this: if you knew the amount of trauma she’s endured, you would understand.”
I’m nearly 60 years old, and I needed that reminder.
You just don’t know.
This young woman had her childhood and innocence stolen from her. “Unfair” isn’t a strong enough word. Some things defy language. She endured unspeakable trauma. And yet, she gave a little boy life. Then she gave him something else—a chance.
One day, that little boy will learn he had two heroes from the very beginning. His birth mother loved him enough to make an unimaginably difficult decision. Kira loved him enough to say yes. Both women changed the course of his life, and both will always be part of his story.
After we hung up, I sat in that Hardee’s parking lot for a while. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. I didn’t feel guilty. I felt corrected.
Maybe that’s something all of us need from time to time.
We rarely know what another person has survived. Before we rush to judgment, we should make room for their story.
Because quite often….you just don’t know.
